Friday, 20 November 2009
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Happy Birthday my sweetie pie.....
I have been wondering for sometime what shall write on this cute little angel going to taking birth in few hours. I am excited to share this with someone – “my anxiousness as if I am the father of this cutie” and “my emotional bonding as a mother”…but who am I to her???..why should I get excited for this moment…??? Seconds are passing like hours and hours like days …this marathon of time is something I have never ran before…but my instincts are forcing me to capture the beautiful moment forever “wishing her the best of everything ” from the moment she steps on this beautiful blue planet…..
Its half past eleven in the evening …I was lost in my thinking…I am in my own imaginative dreamy world…should be one of my day dreams as always….
God is whispering in my ear…I was pretending to pay attention…..unclear it was…
I asked him... What??? Infact I screamed at him for disturbing my beautiful thoughts…I mean day dreams…
He asked me “do you know whom you are waiting for …?
“Ok never mind!! …don’t pay attention to him…he is trying to divert you…I decided to lock my mind…
He again questioned me…!!!!
I replied harshly to him “would you mind taking care of your own business first….!!!
“This is my business” my son” he replied………
I woke up from my sub conscious mind….I asked him what’s your business????
“”I have been waiting here since half an hour to deliver this gift, which angels have sent to your address”” he replied…
I could not understand what he was saying...
I asked him again ……
Its’12 now…I can’t wait any more here and continue my argument with you my son, Just take this….and let me go to deliver few more gifts….he hurriedly opened his bag and kept a gift in my hand and left.
It is heavy and I am confused…What is going on? I am waiting for the special moment and this god with no heart to understand others feelings dumped it on my face and left….
How sick??? I shouted giving a look at the gift…but he is no where around…..
The gift is beautifully wrapped in a soft fabric and petals of heavenly flowers…I had a closer look by uncovering the fabric from the gift…I was dazed to see the gift…. my eyes were filled with wonder, my heart with content and my mind with the beauty and innocence of the cute little angel with a smile on her face talking to god in her deep sleep…I could not believe my eyes… She was pleasingly pretty…I wondered if there is anything that I would come across such a beauty in my life that would take my heart to think instead of my mind…the baby was glittering with her delightful pumpkin looks…a kewpie doll.. she has shiny cheeks which reminds of a creamy layer on the clouds. She was soft…she was beyond my words to describe… after all she was a gods gift… I was completely fascinated by the miracle happened in front of my eyes. God has gifted me what I have been waiting for…he was on his job and I could not sense this….
I hold her tightly in my arms and was lost in that little world…..I could not utter a word as was thinking deeply what to call her…..
Any human name would not fit her charm and innocence …I whispered in her ears slowly fearing that she may wake up “Chanti, Happy birthday” and kissed on her tender cheeks…
She opened her eyes slowly waking up from the sleep…she hold my shirt firmly touching my heart …and gave a smile looking at me and again went back to her little world of dreams…She was sleeping as if she was kissing my heart…this has been the day I have been waiting for…even god cant take this moment away from me…i reached the pinnacle of pleasure and satisfaction holding my chanti in my arms and wishing her all the best in this world and my eyes filled with the tears of contentment ..I kept moving……………………
Thursday, 29 October 2009
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MY SCORPION QUEEN
Have any one of you observed a moment to moment flow of interaction inside your heart.
I believe some of you have done that. Either you should have enjoyed it or got bored by it.
Well have you ever observed or felt the conversation with a Scorpio girl, yes the Scorpio Rashee girl I mean, “Bet u would have gone spell bound!!!!
Because I did…..
I would like to present the conversation with this lady, the scorpion rashee girl, some time back in my college days when I was infatuated by her mental and physical secrets.
“Just to describe her, she has curls of flaxen hair on both sides of her ears , with a brown and black intermixed hair color making your eyes call for attention while talking, don’t ask about her eyes….needless to mention she has oval shaped rusted granny spectacles… which she calls them stylish “eye glasses”…. I asked her to remove the spectacles (I mean her stylish Glasses) once…. though she hesitated initially….I was successful after some lovely bargaining ….”Oh no”!!!!….. “Have you ever seen anything like…..? Which are filled with thick coffee toffee transparent spheres in small pearl shaped caves with glittering colors flashing out….a scene to watch out for…I just turned my head away with a little smile from my heart…not from my lips…..wow? …hey… here are the beautiful eyes piecing directly inside your heart….with her serious sexy smiling look…bet u can have your hair standing everywhere on your body if you can feel them….
You can keep on talking about the things which your heart likes….there would be no exceptions for it….because your heart keeps on talking to your mind…this is the state where you get used to/fall for the things or persons around you like or interested in…this is the state where your heart speaks more than your mind to go for more than the laws of economics….Demands of the heart(feelings) grow so much it makes the mind to supply(thoughts) matching to it….hmmm…. got bored with this…let me present the main event – moment to moment interaction with my scorpion girl….
It’s a festival day…don’t remember exactly what it was…but I had the rarest and the unforgettable opportunity on earth to see this girl wearing traditional half sari of south India….a moment that can make your heart dance to the tunes of your adrenaline flowing inside your veins…..
“She was wearing the peacock green half sari rolling around her “highly” curved shining hip covering her sexy navel….and a matching top to cover the marvelous…?????.I don’t want to mention here…she will take my case…She walked stylishly inside the library hall of our college….a ramp walk literally…I already had a look at her walking…I was sitting few meters away from her in front of the system ….a deep breath with a picture making rounds in my mind….. thoughts occupied everywhere making me to go and talk to her …
“Just Wait..Dont jump!!!
…I told to myself…some kind of anxiety inside my body making me tickle subconsciously to move and have a conversation with her…still I could hold my feelings and continue my work in front of the system not knowing what I was doing…I was such a dumb ass, I could not gather my energy to do what my heart demands..just because I don’t want to show her that I am interested or impressed by her “many” things. I bet no man on earth would have hesitated like me. But I did…that is me…She walked slowly towards me saying “hi...good morning”, making herself comfortably seated on the chair …she was sitting next to me …my heart had taken the speed of jet craft…man….I was just praying god to keep that in control….my prayers went unattended by god…I just had leaned over the chair and looking at her, wished good morning and complimented her saying “nice dress’ with a deep breath. She gave a little smile and said thank you….You know what?? ….now my heart took the speed of super sonic jet crafts…travelling at the speed of light…it accelerated with her dim perfume smell and beautiful tender sponge pink lips…mouth watering they are….
She brought some food from her home…we moved to the first floor of the library…she was holding her dress up while walking on the steps …I was just walking behind her watching her back…no I was staring at her back…unconsciously… it was damn man...just like jennifer lopez..…wowwww was the word jumped from my mouth…..oops… we reached the chairs.. I could come out of that and look at her properly and she offered some home made food for me and for some of our friends.
You are really awesome…this was my first dialogue …but within me…..infact I wanted to say “you are really tempting”
….I would have dared had she been close to me…she told that she wore that half sari as I have asked her to wear it the other day….she could remember all this and gave a smile at me…I was still in that anxious mood to control my feelings…she is just like a poison passing all over the body making you surrender for her charm…it’s a sweet poison with a devastating taste.I never thought that a girl can create these kinds of feelings in a guy’s heart, giving it run for its feelings..it was a true feeling…
We had food there and some others(serious nonsense) joined us in sharing the food…though I pretend to talk to her normally…my eyes were everywhere her dress..body and what not….would be insulting to my feelings if I just use words to describe them…tremendous beauty it was….absolutely devastating…what a creation of god?…it’s a thunder to my heart..very refreshing….time just passed away in milliseconds…was cursing god actually for not stopping the time for that moment….
She left the place within some time and left her impressions in my heart. Guys this is the one I had locked inside my heart for years now…still I can feel the beauty…...such a charisma…charm… with poisonous taste could be none other than my Queen…The Scorpion Queen…
Tuesday, 20 October 2009
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Life is beautiful -Do u know how to use it???
You know---- life is very beautiful if you know how to use it…
This comes by experience and exploring things around you…hahaha my funda…you got to listen to it…Few first things in life cannot be forgotten easily,…they are the impressions of your heart in your sub conscious mind and the beauty can not just be expressed in words….this happened to me in my early twenties…
..I am just like a normal boy next door types…full of “AM”bitions”. But no time to achieve any of them
…my priorities are very few…Sleep,Eat and Watch every movie released in city with friends…I never used to set any other priorities as I always fall short of time to achieve the few little priorities mentioned above.…friends are my world…..spending time and money with them is the only full time job I have a passion for…..and of course I forgot to mention the official sponsors of my priorities….. My parents and a sister. They always love my priorities in ”negative side” 
and the effects of these sides used to become positive after my exam results..””yes, I am the topper in every class..in my graduation…U need not be an intelligent to be the topper in class provided if you know “what you should not write in exams”…..I used to read only this book for every exam and here I am in front of my parents surprised and excited faces to see me as the topper…I always feel I am very smart….because I deserve to be smart…This is my life till my graduation full of colours and vigor...but to my surprise I have not seen some of them which did not see the light of the day….. let me tell you how it is …..I never thought I would see the real colours in life till I met this lady…sorry I would say till I touched this lady…
This happen to me during my Post graduation…though a bit late but fine ..I was ok with it…. for me girls are just to watch and worship if they are beautiful….If they are not …better no comments which waste your time and energy…( I have been in Hyderabad for the last 6 years; it’s my dream to have a good college life with “beautiful” friends around me. I invaded CAT for so many times just for my family. Actually it was their goal not mine…my goal is to just have a relaxed….fun filled…..bindaasssss…life for the next 2 years)
Coming back to this lady..she was my classmate …tall..fair…athletic structure… with a honey dewed silky voice….its just lip smacking…(her voice though) but never paid attention towards her as I was always usually busy with the new so called fabricated friends in the college who have lured me with their little funny kiddies’ world. """Kich kich …kich kich""""…these are the sounds that always haunted my brain whenever I roamed with these kids…
.But this very lady has her own world…her momma….her pappa and two didis’ with two little kids of her sister…she gives a build up as if she is the mom of those two kiddos….and the disturbing factor is she is proud to say this always…eeeekss….Oh I forgot to mention she has a brother too…too elder to her to call him a brotherrrrrrrrrrrrr…………..she is also proud of him…looks like she is the only one who has brothers, parents,sisters and kiddos…..Its a kind of nonsense for me when ever she used to discuss all these things….but somehow I liked the conversation she used to have with me regarding her family….A great escape from my """"kich…kich""" friends…..Life was a real fun…We actually came to know about each other in an quiz event which was conducted by one of my kich kich friends in the classroom…… I saw her for the first time in this event from top to bottom when she came on to the dais with her stylish walk wearing a Silky maroon color chudidar with chunni hanging on one side of her shoulders. I was watching her curiously while walking…Damn man she has got the stylish back…
thoughts hurtle my mind…don’t know what they are…she turned towards us after reaching the dais …said “good evening everybody” …she was sharing her experience with one of the workshops she had attended recently…..It was just for a while …but I was mesmerized to such an extent with her “body” language and stylish English…. I was smiling without my knowledge….I locked her assets (smile, walk,talk) inside my mind…..It was disturbing inside me…some kinda anxiety with some energy….I actually came to know about her…not she…She is an engineer with a decent leadership track record since child hood being the “captain” of her class …till she voluntarily donated it to her craving followers for that title..…I never knew this concept till she told me that what exactly captain of the class does. Thanks to my sophisticated schools and my friends…. I knew only one thing “leader of the class”
...I used to be proud to have that title not knowing what to do being a leader…Somehow we have become close to each other, thanks to the lethargic attitude of not renewing the bus passes though I rarely travel by them….she bought a buss pass form for me once……
Tuesday, 13 October 2009
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Morning Blues....II
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I could here the restlessness in her voice...(she has been waiting for my call since morning and she hopefully expected a call from me in the morning as this is the only day in the week i call her to speak as if i love her the most.).....
So what else? i asked with a tone to end the conversation to give some rest to my brain and body....
Nothing much..waited for your call ...how your day has been? she asked...(Gosh.......help me)...(My nerves and cells are begging me to take a quick sleep).
Yeah it was fine ...."yyaaayaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh" i was yawing in the phone ..she understood i am feeling sleepy and am very tired....
Ok i think you have to sleep now...take rest.(she answered)........(Oh God thank you)
yeah i am very tired...will u call u tomorrow.......take care da sleep weell..sweet dreams...I replied..
She wished me gud night ...sweet drmz...slp well....(I could here here her frustrated smile while disconnecting)...
I am back into my dreams...as I fell on bed as if i am going to break my insomnia again...I am so damn tired.......
After few hours....
Some one knocked the door ....I opened the door to see who it could be at this midnight....I was trying to identify the persons face standing infront of me..saying hiiiii...OMG its' she...OMG!!!hey you ????how come you are here??? (I stay some 250 KM away from her) ..she smiled """"just felt like talking to you ..so i am here""""".I rubbed my eyes as i couldnot believe that she came all the way to meet me....Its a surprise ...woowwww...come in I invited her inside and locked the door....I fetched some water from kitchen and offered her...she drank everything in 2 gulps...."""oh u seem to be very thirsty...want some more""" i offered her some water...she replied ...no ...i walked for an hour to find out your house". Oh ....there was a silence...My heart was squeezed...No..i was expressionless..I dont know how to take that.....i cant believe that she came all the way and searched for my home on foot....
Then i sat next to her to chat with her ...asking her what happened????.....we smiled...faught ...had some food and spent time ......we chat for almost 4 hours and now she is deep asleep on my lap ....i could see the sweat drops on her forehead shining from the dim bed light....my heart ----filled with content...i am happy...i dont know what happened to my nerves and cells...i was tired and now i am refreshed....I was just smiling from my heart and mind.......Time passed......I dropped into sleep....
Some one was hitting the door hardly.....i rushed again to the door to open......Its my driver asking me whether i am ready or not for office..."Haan aa raha hoon" Dus minute... I replied.... I washed my face and got ready for the office ...In between - something is pinching my mind to recollect....I am hesitating to acknowledge it.....I just want to avoid that????? I am feeling very unpleasant...why am i feeling bad????.....and i am wearing my shoes ....."excuse me boss there is a text message" my mobile alert tone for message.......I opened it with some unconscious thinking going behind my mind.....The text read as follows """"Hi ra...Gud mrng...Have something and go to office...dont take much strain"""take care and ping me up whenever possible...Its she again....
Oh Gosh.....Oh no......i rushed to my bed room with a jet speed hitting my head and leg to the wall(why am I hesistaing to recollect)........recollecting that yesterday she came in midnight all the way ...(how can i forget????how can i be so mechanical???? thoughts occupied my mind...)..to meet me...
...........................................................I asked the driver to start and sat on the backseat looking outside the window......Deep silence.....""""Was it a dream...dream...dreamm...I am taken aback....was it really a dream.....""""'
"""I am speechless.....my heart became heavy......my eyes filled with my pain and love .....tears started their rush and are rolling from my cheeks .....I couldnot resist ....I covered my face as if i am reading a newspaper....I wept as if the tears will drain aaway from my eyes...I couldnot beleive that it was a dream...she did not come to me actually...she made me happy....talked to me whole night and slept on my lap...She fought with me for not talking or calling her the whole week and also i did not call her today...she wept...she took a promise from me that i will call her everyday....she slept on my lap explaining how much she likes me.........Is this a dream...!!!!
How much i miss her.....how much i love her.....How can i do this to her!!! why am i being so rude????
With a lot of introspection........I picked up my mobile ...pressed 2........she picked up.......Hey!!! its me......................................................................................................................................
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Sunday, 11 October 2009
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Morning blues....
Its half past nine on sunday morning ...I was literally enjoying a good break from long suffering insomnia.....I was enjoying the cool weather with slim drizzles shooting my body smoothly in my dreams...these are clouds i told to myself.....wow,,,, it has been years that i have been dreaming to get such a dream....its bliss..sheer pleasure.....within no time there was a thunder which hit me hard to the ground from the clouds...dhan..dhan..dhan..my heart started beating fast.....I opened my eyes as if a dead body has come to life again....a strong knock on the front door disrupted my sound sleep........ i moved towards the door hitting the pillow and the bedsheet away cursing the alien who knocked the door..."Sirji kapde laya hoon" .....Its my dhobi giving me the nicely ironed clothes i gave for washing a couple of days back..."Pachhies hua hai saab".....I paid him 50 bugs asking him to give me the remaining change later...I am back to my bed again covering myself with the bedsheet trying to reconnect with my disrupted dream....I tried hard with strong determination to recollect the lost dream...my efforts went futile...I could do nothing than staring at my ceiling fan helplessly...Its half past ten...
"Kausalya supraja rama purva sandhya...." its the ring tone of my mobile....sudden wake up call from boss asking for my where abouts...I came to know that i slept again..Then the whole shit came to my mind that today there is a meeting in the office for strategizing the manpower planning....a power point with no serious points to be presented to extremely serious people for implementing in the next damn five years...It is so called long term strategic planning......Its eleven and i am ready with my office stuff thinking all this shit.... I am the scapegoat for my boss illetaracy.....why did i join here...he can do only one thing on his own...peeing...I grabbed a pice of bread and jam from the shelf and rushed towards the company car asking the driver to stop blowing the horn..."Good morning Sirji".."aaj bahut late kardiya aapne".......haan haan chalo chalo jaldi....I reached the office...there are a series of calls over this half an hour travel to my office.
In between i got a message wishing me good morning and asking me to have something before going to office and call back whenever possible....I have not replied and i have also got a couple of messages asking me to subscribe for latest songs for Rs.6 per call...bullshit ...one delete all have been thrashed...there was also a call from the person who wished me good morning...i disconnected...getting so many calls from office..attending each and every call with utter passion and care to handle and sort the issues immediately....i am feeling good about myself...feeling good???...good????...really???....i questioned to myself.....Its almost seven in the evening....time to pack the things back and leave from office....day went off with a series of presentations...debates....decisions...etc etc ..,.took a small nap on my way back to home...Sirji gahr aaya....while opening the door i flashed the display light on the lock to unlock the door...7 missed calls and 4 messages....from the same person who wished me good morning...OMG!!!! gosh i realised i dint even replied for the messages wishing good morning.....i opened the door, thrown my belongings and pressed 2 ....its a quick dial.. its ringing...
hello hello..hai...so full busy with the work where are you now???? she asked....
yeah sorry i was busy... office...presentations....etc etc..sorry couldnt see your messages ....actually the mobile is in silent mode>i replied.....
she responded quietly...yeah i thought so..so got fresh up....
no not yet i replied.....chalo then get fresh up..have some food and call me if you have some time.....
yeah sure...discoonected....
Its almost 10 in the night i had a heavy dinner with my colleagues ....i am back to bed...grabbed the mobile and pressed 2....
hello ..hey hai..
.had ur dinner she asked,,,
yeah just now and you i questioned....
no not yet...i have to serve my family and then i will have...vessels are also there to clean...(she replied)
ok ok carry on ...have dinner and give me a call....i replied...
No problem you can speak to me for 2 minutes..ok then tell me what you have done since morning....(i asked)
nothing much... asusal sunday is a full working day for me..i cleaned the house...done some shoppings for my sisters kids......to be continued.....
